Sex Education 101- Never watch Porn!

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How do we usually learn about sex? Through our friends or through the internet, or taught by our parents or elders. These are some of the ways through which we are exposed to the concept of sex and how the act works. But think again- how many of us really learn about this through the right methods? Let’s face it- most of us are exposed to the world of porn at a really early age- by our friends or on the internet. And this is where the main problem lies. Porn is the worst place on earth to learn about sex. Why, you ask? Here’s why…

1.      Real sex is way different than what’s shown in porn: Real sex is not 3 hour long, full of toys and other products, anal (very few people actually prefer it in real life), there are no 16 or 20 inch long penises, not everyone’s bodies are perfect (in fact, most people have some or the other differences if we compare the kind of models and actors shown in porn videos), and no, not everyone is really into BDSM and other rather unnatural sexual  practices. Real sex is slow, ends quickly, and at times not really as amazing as one might expect. But hey, don’t fret. It is still quite an interesting experience. The little imperfections and lack of knowledge can be played around with and you can have a great experience. The only thing is- get the right kind of knowledge from the right sources. 

2.      Porn is majorly patriarchal in nature: Have you ever wondered why the majority of porn categories and videos are all about objectifying the females? There are videos of the women being physically abused, manhandled, slapped, urinated on, and even raped in the most horrific and graphic manner possible. And people consume such content to satisfy their personal needs. While the males shown in the porn videos are often shown muscular and powerful, and dominant in most videos. How can an act as beautiful and delicate as sex be so gruesome? Doesn’t make sense, right? By consuming such content, we are disempowering and disregarding all the women in our lives, and this is quite dangerous.

3.      Is sex a product to be commercialised: Sex is a beautiful and a very delicate act. By making films and videos on sex, the industry has commercialised the act and hence, it has lost its value as a natural desire and need of humans, and has become a product of consumption through the digital media. Also, why would someone want to watch someone else perform the act in the first place? It is meant to be a very private affair between the two consenting adults. 

4.      It can heighten your expectations unnecessarily: Porn shows a lot of things which are unrealistic, fake and augmented to give a rather overwhelming experience to the viewer. Thus, if you base your sex expectations on porn, there are high chances that you may end up being dissatisfied, underconfident and unhappy. Think about it- No one really lasts for 1-2 hours during an intercourse. Also, women do not want you to ejaculate on their bodies. Many of them are disgusted by it. And there are many other such issues which are harmful to you as a consumer. 

5.      You may not be able to achieve orgasms: As scary as it may sound, it is indeed true. If you watch too much porn and set expectations according to what you watch, chances are that you are an addict. Yes, porn addiction is absolutely real. The more porn you consume, the harder it becomes to achieve climax, and the tougher it is to stimulate the next time around. Same is the relationship between women and vibrators. Hence it is extremely important that you quit watching porn and have realistic expectations about sex and also discuss the same with your partner.

6.      It is disrespectful to your partner: Porn based expectations can often be harsh, far-fetched and miles away from the truth. The acts in those videos are not natural, often strongly depicted, and over dramatised to give it the required effect. Hence, if you expect your partner to behave and act in a particular manner or follow your lead against their comfort, it can be a scarring experience for them and your sex life might be hampered in a big way. Instead, watch the right educational videos, read books, articles online, or talk to a doctor or a well-read person to help you understand the concept well. 

7.      It is ‘NOT’ at all normal: Sitting and watching porn, where two other people are having sex is not normal in any way. As we discussed above, sex is a very private affair, and we should respect the privacy and boundaries of ourselves and our partners. 


Bottom-line is- porn is a very dangerous kind of addiction which can destroy your sex lives and mental peace. If you want to learn about sex, learn from trusted sources like books, internet articles, sex education videos etc. Remember- a healthy mind is very important for a healthy sex life!

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